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My Top 6 Tips for Surviving a Global Pandemic (for at least 2 days)

Unsurprisingly, I haven’t been spending a great deal of time writing lately. Although arguably, this could serve as an important outlet in these crazy times.

I was recently inspired to compile a list, so without further ado, I present to you: 

My Top 6 Tips for Surviving a Global Pandemic (for at least 2 days)

CAVEAT #1: I’m not trying to make light of a very serious situation and my heart hurts for all those who have been impacted by coronavirus. This is purely for entertainment purposes and making light of this situation is, well, a coping mechanism.

CAVEAT #2: I've only been working from home for the past two days, hence the "for at least two days". That said, I know deep down in my heart that I would NOT survive a zombie apocalypse. I have felt this way for a long time and in fact, it's the ONLY reason I continue to online date (see point 3 for more details on how that's going...). 

1. Shop local

Here’s what this boils down to: the more people we can keep employed within our communities, the better. I am beyond lucky to have stable employment and the ability to work from home (for now), so in addition to buying the staples at some of the bigger chains, I do feel like I have a bit of a responsibility to buy local as much as possible. I know many breweries, bakeries, restaurants and small shops have been keeping afloat this way! Was this an excuse to buy all the bread? Maybe. I regret nothing.

2. FaceTime with the kids (and friends) in your life

This is self-explanatory…kids = hilarious + joyful interactions (plus they don’t give a shit if you haven’t done your hair in 3 days). If you don’t have any kids in your life, go watch some YouTube video of the wonderful and ridiculous things they say and do (or dogs, if that’s your jam). Guaranteed to give your overstretched mind some of the temporary respite it deserves.

3. IF you’re online dating, this is a really great time to actually try to get to know someone

I could tell you sooooooo mannnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ridiculous stories. Online dating is such a shit-show, I can’t even begin to qualify it (if you want me to try, give me a call on FaceTime but make sure it’s after the kids have gone to bed). Anywho, I have devised a series of “challenges” that aim to separate the fuckboys from the nice guys. These challenges revolve primarily around a few different themes, including but not limited to:

  • If I articulate a boundary, do you respect it?

  • How closely do your words line up with your actions? (spoiler alert: it’s usually not that closely)

  • Do you have a sense of humour?

  • Are you able to actually engage another human in conversation that isn’t about you?

While entertaining, I have had limited success and there has yet to be one supreme winner that stands above the rest. Which leads me to my next topic…

4. Breathe, deeply

Inhale…exhale…inhale…exhale. In through the nose, out through the mouth (or like, whatever, you know how to breathe). You can do it when you’re walking, when you’re cooking, when you’re working. You can have people guide you in how to do it or just count it out yourself. The point is, get that oxygenated blood circulating all over your body and I promise you, you will feel better!

5. Listen to your body

I’m actually kind of grateful for a break in terms of exercise and activities. I had really made an effort to busy myself with volunteering and yoga and swimming and social activities before social distancing and I was finding it harder and harder to be joyful about all those commitments. I can pretty much guarantee that by the time I’m allowed back in the swimming pool or to go to a yoga class at the community centre, I’m going to think it’s the most wonderful thing ever.

My body has also been craving more hearty meals (and sweet things!) so I’ve been trying to listen to that. In the past, I used to fill up on all the sweet things…but I find now I’m saving them for the end of the meal. Interestingly, that hasn’t really stopped me from stockpiling all of the sweet things, so I’ll have to explore what that’s about (off the top of my head, it looks something like this: history of restriction/guilt/bad feelings + stressful situation = reverting to old behaviours). The moral of that story is if anyone desperately needs any Oreos, I’m your girl.

6. Join a CareMongering group on Facebook

The acts of kindness that I’ve seen on my local CareMongering FB group literally make me cry. To think that someone can reach out and say what they need and that all these people step-up to help, well I find that pretty incredible. Of course, there are some dicks on there who make wild and unfounded comments, but they are easier to ignore when you’re faced with a sea of generosity, positivity and community support.

This simultaneously speaks to the necessity of curating your social media feeds. Are you following stuff that makes you feel anxious or bad about yourself? Unfollow that shit RIGHT NOW. We’re bombarded with enough garbage in our daily lives that we don’t need to literally sign ourselves up for more of it. I’ve curated my social media so that it’s all about fat positivity and spiritual healing. Here are some of the hashtags and people I follow on IG just to give you an idea (and while you’re at it, maybe unfollow the Kardashians – ain’t nobody got time for that): #fatacceptance #losehatenotweight #antidietculture @the.holistic.pscyhologist @amee_rd @circleofidiots (just to switch it up).

On that note, I will close by saying that I miss all of your faces and I hope you’re finding your own unique ways to cope with this stressful situation.

May the odds be ever in your favour!


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